Brett and I got married on November 29, 2003, just eight months after we first met. I had no plans of getting married that year. In fact, I had no desire to add another relationship to my life. I was about to move out into my first apartment. I had some close relationships that were on rocky ground during that time in life too. Adding another friend to my life felt like one too many at that point, much less a boyfriend and husband!

How We Met

Brett and I officially met at a local pizza place in Albuquerque, NM. I was involved in a huge college group that met on Saturday nights. We all went to this pizza place after church. I didn’t even know Brett was visiting the group that night until he sat next to me with his pizza in hand. A friend of mine was also there that night. His name was Bret (with one ‘t,’ not 2 like my cool husband). My friend Bret and my soon to be husband Brett started talking about Texas because they both went to college there. I had no interest in this particular conversation, but I listened politely. Soon the conversation turned to talking about roller coasters. Now, this was a subject I could talk about! I love roller coasters. (At least I did back then. Now that I’m over 40, they still are fun but my body doesn’t like them as much.) 

The night ended with my friend Bret inviting my soon to be husband Brett to another church we all went to on Sunday mornings. Friend Bret gave husband Brett his phone number in case he ever wanted to come. Husband Brett seemed like he was interested. I had also learned through our conversation that he was new to town. (Little did I know at the time that he literally drove into town 24 hours before.) I felt sorry for him and knew that friend Bret was about to head back to Texas for school, so I gave soon to be husband Brett my phone number and told him he could call me to meet up if he wanted. 

I Did Something I Never Do

Here’s the thing, I was NEVER the kind of girl who gave her phone number to strange men. I’m not really even sure why I did so that night, but I did. I suppose the Holy Spirit prompted me to, even though I didn’t realize it at the time. 

Sooner or later we all got up to leave. Like college kids do, we all went outside and stood there talking for a while. Eventually we all actually left. Before leaving the group I hugged friends and shook soon to be husband Brett’s hand. When I did, I heard the Lord clearly tell me, “You’re going to marry him.” My response was, “Oh, no I’m not! I don’t want to add anyone else to my life. Certainly not a husband!” After a week of talking to Brett on the phone and talking to God, I agreed to say yes to Brett if he asked me out on a date. That night, he asked me on a date. 

Eight months later, we were Mr. and Mrs. Brett Best. We had a beautiful fall themed wedding. The day I became Mrs. Brett Best was one of the best days of my life. Honestly, it took awhile to wrap my head around the fact that I was now Brett’s wife. After all, I was just getting used to being his girlfriend and fiancée. 

Married Life Was Going Great

Life was really good after we got married. I always heard about how rocky the first year of marriage was, but I never experienced that. As far as I was concerned, Brett and I never once had a fight. Sure, we disagreed from time to time, but we were able to talk about it and come to an agreement. 

There was only one thing that needed to change in my life. I needed to see that I was worthy of being Brett’s wife. When he married me, he didn’t marry down. I would sometimes look at Brett and think, Why did he choose me to marry? He could have had someone so much better than me. I was grateful he picked me to marry. I felt honored he picked me to marry. It was beyond my comprehension as to why he would choose me when, in my eyes, he could have had any girl. 

The Consequence Of Not Feeling Worthy

Because I didn’t feel worthy of being Brett’s wife, I worked hard to prove my worth to him. I did my best to be the perfect wife. Of course I can never be the perfect wife. Inevitably I will make a mistake given enough time. Well, fast forward a few years and we find ourselves living far away from our family with 2 babies. I spent my days sleep deprived, really just trying to survive. We made our front living area a playroom for the kids. As a result, there seemed to always be a trail of toys leading from the front to the back of the house. Each day I would spend cleaning, feeding the kids, entertaining them, and making sure dinner was ready when Brett got home from work. The one thing I neglected was picking up the toys before he came home. I felt it was an exercise in futility. Why pick them all up right then when they would all be out before Brett got home anyway? 

The Day My Works Were No Longer Good Enough

One day the clutter finally got to Brett. He got tired of walking around all the toys each evening. He casually mentioned that the house was a mess when he came home that night. All he really was asking is that I clear a path for him. Unfortunately for him, I heard that I was a terrible wife and he was unhappy with my performance. Since I believed the lie that I wasn’t worthy to be his wife to begin with, and I believed I needed to prove I was worthy by being his perfect wife, that causal statement killed me inside. In my mind I failed. No, I was a failure. I fell apart in hysterics all because of a few toys on the floor. It became a much bigger issue than what it ever should have been. The root of all this drama was my own insecurity. 

I know, this all sounds ridiculous now, but at the time it was quite serious. Since then, the Lord has cured me of living a life filled with insecurity. I know more of who I really am, and that makes insecurity go take a hike. A very, very, very long hike! 

I Am Worthy

I now know I am not only worthy of being called Brett’s wife, but he picked me on purpose. In fact he would pick me again today given the opportunity. Brett picked me because he saw things in me that I couldn’t see at the time. Over the years he has drawn those parts of me out, and I am a better woman because of it. I am worthy because Brett Best says I’m worthy to be his wife. I know he loves me for me, not because I can perform a role in his life. He never wanted the perfect wife. He simply wanted HIS wife. That is a role I’m happy to fill. 

You Are The Bride Of Christ

The Bible tells us that when we give our life to Jesus, we become his bride. (See Ephesians 5:21-33) Do you feel worthy of being called his bride? Perhaps you feel a lot like I used to when it came to my earthly marriage to Brett. Do you feel unworthy of being called the bride of Christ? Do you feel you need to continually prove to yourself and him that you are indeed worthy of being his bride? Are the works you do for Jesus proof of your worthiness? 

Guess what? You are worthy of being called the bride of Christ because HE says you are worthy. Just as I was always worthy of being Brett’s wife, so am I worthy of being the bride of Jesus. I was at a conference a few weekends ago and one of the speakers, Bill Vanderbush, said, “Jesus didn’t marry down.” That phrase got me thinking. How amazing is that?! Jesus picked me to be his bride, and he didn’t marry down when choosing me! News flash, Jesus picked you to be his bride and he didn’t marry down. You are his first pick! Jesus picked you because he sees things in you that you can’t currently see. Over time he will draw those things out of you, and you will be a better woman because of it. 

How Do You See Yourself

If you have a difficult time seeing yourself as worthy of being called the bride of Christ, I want you to go look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Jesus didn’t marry down when he married me.” Say it everyday, everytime you see yourself in a mirror until you believe it. Why is this so important? Because if you believe the lie that you aren’t worthy of being the bride of Christ, how can you fulfill all the fun things your groom wants to do with and through you while you physically live here? You must see yourself like Jesus does to be able to do the things he has written about you in his books. 

“Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:16‬ (‭ESV)‬‬

You are amazing! I know because Jesus says so. Now go out there, confident in the knowledge that Jesus did, in fact, choose you!