Originally posted 2/21/20
Last summer as I was sitting on my front porch, spending some time with God, he showed me something I had never thought about before. In John 16:33, Jesus is talking to his disciples and says this, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” As I read these words I heard him say, “You will HAVE struggles, but they aren’t WHO you are.” At the time I was struggling with a relationship. We didn’t see eye to eye on something, and this person decided that I was no longer worthy of being included in their life. I felt the pain of rejection and this struggle was becoming the way I saw myself. I wasn’t worthy of friendship unless I acted the way that my friends wanted me to act. I had to agree with them on everything, and support them, even when they were on a dangerous path. Because if I didn’t, they would reject me. I would be left alone, and I would be considered unlovable.
This wasn’t the first time I had this same experience-I guess it takes me several falls to learn the lesson! Each time it was basically the same story. I had a long time friendship with someone. I knew that this friend demanded that I was agreeable with everything they did, and I needed to be the person they thought I should be. As time passed, I could no longer play this role. When this happened, I would get scolded and then I would never hear from these friends again. Each time I believed that I was the problem. I wasn’t a good enough friend. I wasn’t worth loving anymore. My struggle with rejection wasn’t something I had, it was something I was. It was only a matter of time until the people I love most would reject me, because that was who I was. I was rejected.
Then Holy Spirit showed me that yes, I was wrong, but not for the reason I believed. I was believing a lie. Jesus said we will have struggles. That means that we possess them for a time, and can choose to surrender ownership of our struggles. Just like I own my couch, but when I no longer desire to own it I can choose to give it to someone else. I owned the lie that I was unlovable, rejected, and unworthy of relationships. Those were simply struggles that I HAD for a season. The great thing about seasons is they are short. They are here today, and tomorrow a new season can start. I could choose to hold onto those adjectives for as long as I wanted. I had the freedom to put them on and show the world how unlovable, rejected, and unworthy I am. Over time I would be in the same place I was for so long, living my life fearful of what those who proclaim to love me would do to prove that I am those things.
Or I could choose to surrender those identities to Jesus and allow him to show me who he saw when he looks at me. Although other people may see me as those descriptions, it doesn’t mean that those descriptions are true. I could choose to surrender and live in freedom, or I could choose to hold onto them and stay in bondage. I chose to surrender them, and discovered the attributes that Jesus uses to describe me. I started searching the Bible for what God has to say about who I am. After a ton of prayer, surrendering, and reading my Bible this is what I discovered Jesus says about me. (This is what he has to say about you too. So please take this and make it your own.)
I am a daughter of the King of Kings.
I am love. I am patient and kind.
I am a new creation. I am strong.
I am righteous. I am gracious. I am courageous.
I am blessed. I am chosen.
I am holy and blameless.
I am qualified. I am complete and equipped for every good work.
Partner with me to do your work, speak your words, and love your children as you love me. Fill me with your power today.
This lives on my bathroom mirror. I read it every morning like a prayer to start my day. I can honestly say that I no longer believe the lies that I am not worthy to be my authentic self. I am worthy of showing the world who I truly am. I am worthy of having friendships with people who I don’t always see eye to eye with. I have the power to be bold about how I feel, and there is no need to worry that my friends will reject me. I know that even if/when people reject me, it’s ok because I am loved and accepted by my Savior and Creator. I know that I will have other struggles in the future, and actually have had other struggles since this incident. I see struggles in a whole new way now. Struggles aren’t something I need to spend my time and energy thinking about. I can choose to have them control me for as long as I want. When I get tired of having them, I can surrender them. Sure my circumstances may not change, and that’s ok because my struggles have no power over me when I surrender them to Jesus.
You likely have different struggles than I did in this story. Perhaps you struggle with anxiety. You may worry that you will make bad choices that will cause a bad outcome in your life. Perhaps your struggles are trusting that God will take care of you. There are a million different struggles in this life. Whatever your struggle, remember that they are something you have. They have only as much control as you allow them to have. Surrender them to Jesus and allow him to change your thinking so that it matches what he thinks. Freedom from carrying struggles around is so worth it. You will feel light and wonder why you carried those struggles for so long. It’s like laying down a big heavy chain that would get all twisted up. Suddenly that chain is gone and you wonder why you thought you had to carry it for so long!
You may be asking how you go about surrendering your struggles to Jesus. I have found a few things that helped me on this journey.
- Find a verse that you can quote when you are feeling the weight of your struggles. I love to write them out and post them in places I can see them throughout the day. For me that is my bathroom mirror. Speaking God’s truth into your struggles will put them into perspective. I have several verses I suggest when it comes to mindset.
-Ephesians 6:12-18
-Philippians 4:6-8
-2 Corinthians 3:17
-2 Timothy 1:7 (read this in the New King James Version)
-Matthew 6:25-34
-Romans 8:1 (really the whole chapter)
- Pray. Pray. Pray. God has the perfect solution for any struggle that comes your way. Remember he has overcome the world, and because of that you can have access to his peace.
- Find a fellow Christian that will support you and encourage you to surrender your struggles. Ask them to help keep you accountable, so that you don’t fall back into the lie that you need to carry your chains around. Pray with them too!
Here is a prayer that you can use as a start:
Jesus,
I am struggling. I know that this struggle is something that I have, and it does not define who I am. I surrender my struggle to you. Change my thinking so that it aligns with what you say. Show me how to live in victory. I choose to give up holding onto the lies that this struggle is something I have no control over. I may not be able to control my circumstances, but I can control the way I react. I choose to react in a way that surrenders my struggle to you and walk in freedom. Empower me to walk in freedom by my surrendering.
~Amen~
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