Have you ever wondered about women in church leadership? Last week I told you the story of leading my first women’s retreat. One lesson from our study was about this very topic: women in leadership. It’s interesting because Brett and I have talked about the topic in depth. 

During the retreat, I gave the other women time to discuss their thoughts and views on the topic. Then one of them asked what I thought and mentioned how quiet I had been. My response was, “Funny this topic should come up. Brett and I have talked in depth about this very topic since we have been given the responsibility of leading a church.” 

God Doesn’t Discriminate

I first pointed to the verse in Galatians where it talks about there being no difference between nationality, job status, or gender. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭3:28‬ ‭(ESV‬‬). I noted Paul was talking about salvation, but I think it shows how God views people in general. He sees us as equal. He doesn’t discriminate based on our gender, race, or status in society. 

Vision Of A Man Turns Out To Be A Woman

I then pointed to the vision Paul had in Acts where he saw a man from Macedonia calling to him to go there. When Paul gets there he meets a group of women instead. Lydia ends up inviting them all to her house and leads the first house church in that city. 

“And a vision appeared to Paul in the night: a man of Macedonia was standing there, urging him and saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us…” And on the Sabbath day we went outside the gate to the riverside, where we supposed there was a place of prayer, and we sat down and spoke to the women who had come together. One who heard us was a woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, a seller of purple goods, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul. And after she was baptized, and her household as well, she urged us, saying, “If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay.” And she prevailed upon us.” Acts‬ ‭16:9, 13-15‬ (‭ESV)‬‬

The Five-Fold Ministry

The next point I made was that we are all in a five-fold ministry, according to Ephesians 4:11-12: “And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds [pastors] and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.”

Both men and women serve in each of the five major ministry streams. We need both men and women evangelists, who can reach the world with the gospel of Jesus Christ. The world needs both men and women who can teach and those who can care for or pastor the flock. Men and women are needed to prophesy with accuracy. Both genders make up those who can raise up, train and send out, just like the apostles did in the early church.

I happen to be a pastor-teacher primarily. I love to care for the needs of other believers and teach them what the Bible says. It would be a disservice to everyone if I was only allowed to teach women. The messages God gives me are for all of God’s children. The men, women, and children need to hear what God teaches me and tells me to teach. Just because I am a woman doesn’t mean I can’t or shouldn’t teach men. 

Who Should Lead

Pastoring, teaching, prophesying, evangelizing, and apostling are all roles we play. This is different from being the leader of a group of believers. I do believe a man should be the head leader of a church body. Just as the husband is the head of the home, so should a man be the head of a church group. I pointed to the verse in 1 Timothy that talks about how the leaders should be a man who is the husband of one wife and has his kids under control. “Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well” ‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭3:12‬ (‭ESV).‬‬ I then said, “If a man can manage his family well, then he is able to manage a bigger family of believers.” 

Should Women Be Leaders

Do I think this means that there shouldn’t be any women in leadership who help make decisions? Absolutely not! Honestly, I think the best way is to have a husband and wife team. Ministry is a way of life for Brett and I, not a job. Brett recognizes the truth that God gives me important messages for men and women.

As a result, he encourages me to teach as often as he does. Currently we have three teachers who take turns. Brett and I talk about what topic or book of the Bible we should teach. In the end, Brett decides what topic or book is next. The other teacher and I teach whatever Brett asks us to teach. Just as in marriage, so it is in ministry, someone has to have the final say. So, just like I allow Brett to lead our family, I also allow him to lead our church family in a like manner. Or perhaps I could say it this way: I come into partnership with Brett’s leadership. I voice my opinion but then stand back and allow Brett to seek God for the final answer. 

The Main Reason There Should Be Women Leaders

One of the biggest reasons I believe the head leaders of a church body should be a husband and wife is because there will be both men and women who need to talk to a leader about things they are going through. Brett and I agreed when we first got married that we would never be alone with the opposite sex in a closed area. Early on in Brett’s career as an engineer, he had a female manager. There were times when Brett and this woman would need to talk one on one about his work and discuss the future. Brett would ask his manager if they could meet in the cafe or someplace where they could have a more private conversation without being isolated. 

Now that we are doing more and more ministry, we will have (and already have had) times when a woman needs counseling. It is very beneficial to have me as a leader because these women already know who I am and have heard my heart. They feel comfortable talking to me and hearing what I feel the Holy Spirit is saying about their situations. It would be inappropriate in our marriage for Brett to speak alone to these women. 

For one, it would go against the agreement we made almost 20 years ago. Secondly, sometimes the topics these women want to talk about is something that needs another woman’s perspective. Lastly, having a man counsel a woman alone over and over is a really great way to allow the temptation for an affair to take place. My marriage to Brett comes before ministry, and is the second most important relationship. My most important relationship is with God, as is Brett’s, and we never want to do anything that misrepresents God. Brett and I will protect our relationship against such temptations. 

Women Are Vital

So, yes, I do believe having women in leadership is vital to having a healthy, thriving ministry that protects both the leaders and the people God calls these leaders to lead. It’s important we protect our marriages. If we fail to protect our marriages, we risk losing everything God has entrusted to us: our family and our ministry. I’ve watched it happen over and over. I believe if leaders viewed their ministry as a team effort, there would be far less leaders who fall into temptation and lose everything that means anything to them.

Brett and I view ministry as a way of life. It doesn’t matter if we are leading the church body we’ve been entrusted to lead, or just out in society. We will take every opportunity to encourage the body of Christ and point future believers toward Jesus. Ministry isn’t our job; it’s our mission. 

The world needs a Brett and a Cherise to do each of our parts in ministry. Likewise, the world needs you to do your part in ministry. If we each ministered in the gifts God has given to us, the world would be a very different place. So, let’s all go do what God calls us to do and stop worrying if some of us happen to be a woman. God doesn’t care, so why should we?