It seems I meet someone almost everyday who has had a run in with a narcissist. We seem to live in a world where people are taught that their wants come first. Furthermore, we live in a world where children are traumatized by decisions the adults in their life make. These traumas can lead to a false idea of what love is and how one is to present themselves to the world. 

I have had a few run-ins myself with narcissistic people. The thing I have learned is that there are a few commonalities with people who have narcissistic behavior. 

Trauma

One is that they all have childhood trauma. It could be a harsh parent who doesn’t know how to properly communicate. Trauma could look like parents divorcing and the child feeling abandoned by one or both parents. Of course trauma can come in the form of many different acts done on purpose or on accident toward the child. Either way their body views these actions as trauma, and as a result they have a fracturing in their personality that causes them to become insecure to the point of being overly protective of themselves. They have learned they can’t trust other people to care for their needs and have come to the conclusion they must look out for themselves all by themselves. 

Insecurity

Insecurity seems to be the root of the issue for narcissists. They control those around them because they are so filled with insecurity that those they love will hurt them. They feel as though the real them is not worthy of love and acceptance. Because of this false belief, they create a fake persona to show to the world. A personality they believe is acceptable and worthy of love. The problem with this is that eventually the real them comes out. Since they have never dealt with the trauma and insecurity, this “real” them isn’t really the real them either. This “real” them is in desperate need of healing from Jesus. There is a saying that “hurt people hurt people.” This is exactly what happens when this “real” person comes out. They have been so hurt that they only know how to hurt others. 

Furthermore, this part of them has come into agreement with an evil spirit that feeds their insecurity and need for control. In the Bible we know this spirit as the Spirit of Jezebel. 

The Spirit Of Narcissism

Did you know there is a spirit behind narcissism? There is, which is really good news. You see the epitome of narcissism is a woman we read about in the Old Testament named Jezebel. The spirit that drove Jezebel to do all she did is the same spirit that drives a narcissist to do what they do. 

Just like Jezebel came into agreement with this spirit, that has been named after her, so do the narcissists in your life. Yes, trauma may have been the catalyst that allowed this spirit to influence them, but they must also come into agreement with this spirit in order for the spirit to have power. Power is exactly what the Jezebel spirit is looking for. 

Over the next two weeks we are going to take a look at the woman Jezebel, and the spirit of Jezebel. We will learn more about how, as a Christian, we are supposed to respond to someone who is in agreement with this evil spirit. 

Who Is Jezebel?

We are first introduced to the person Jezebel in 1 Kings 16 where we are told she married King Ahab, who was a king in Israel after Israel split into two nations, Israel and Judah. According to the Blue Letter Bible the name Jezebel means: “Baal exalts” or “Baal is husband to” or “unchaste.” Her father was called Ethbaal, who was the king of the Sidonians. The Sidonians served false gods, both Baal and Ashtoreth. (See 1 Kings 11:33 and 1 Kings 16:31) 

We know after her marriage to Ahab, she went on a killing rampage to kill the prophets of the true God, Yahweh (1 Kings 18:13). We also know from 1 Kings 18:19 that Jezebel was the protector of the false prophets of Baal and Ashtoreth. 

Could it be since her name means “Baal is husband to” that she was given to the demon who is behind Baal worship in a spiritual marriage and then given the authority to rule over the prophets of Baal and Ashtoreth? 

The Ultimate Narcissist

Jezebel was the ultimate narcissist. She believed she could do whatever she wanted without any consequences. How dare anyone stand in their way if she or her husband wanted something. This is proven when Ahab wanted a vineyard that a man named Naboth owned. Ahab wanted to buy the land from Naboth. However, Naboth refused to sell his family’s land. Ahab went home and pouted like a big baby. Unfortunately, when Jezebel learned that Naboth refused to sell her husband the vineyard he wanted, she plotted to kill him and take over his land. Only an extreme narcissist would do such a thing! (1 Kings 21:1-16)

They Will Use Sex As A Weapon

One meaning of Jezebel’s name means “unchaste”. Jezebel seemed to use her body to get whatever she wanted. We see an example of this on the day of her death. “When Jehu came to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it. And she painted her eyes and adorned her head and looked out of the window. And as Jehu entered the gate, she said, “Is it peace, you Zimri, murderer of your master?” And he lifted up his face to the window and said, “Who is on my side? Who?” Two or three eunuchs looked out at him. He said, “Throw her down.” So they threw her down. And some of her blood spattered on the wall and on the horses, and they trampled on her.” ‭‭2 Kings‬ ‭9‬:‭30‬-‭33‬ ‭(ESV)‬‬ 

Jezebel knew she was in trouble and tried her best to seduce Jehu. We can be sure this wasn’t the first time she used her body to control men. Just before he arrived where Jezebel was staying, Jehu says, “And when Joram saw Jehu, he said, “Is it peace, Jehu?” He answered, “What peace can there be, so long as the whorings and the sorceries of your mother Jezebel are so many?”” ‭‭2 Kings‬ ‭9‬:‭22‬ (‭ESV)‬‬

Not The First Time

Jezebel was a woman who used sex and her body to control the men in her life. She was wholly dedicated to serving Baal and Ashtoreth. Jezebel was a murderer of Yahweh’s true prophets. She believed she deserved to have anything she wanted, no matter who was hurt in the process. Even though Jezebel lived a real life as a real person, there is a spirit we now call Jezebel.

There are people who can be possessed or influenced by this Jezebel spirit. They could be male or female, but their mode of operation is always similar. Like the human Jezebel, they have a lust for power and are willing to do whatever is necessary to get that power. They will use sex and their bodies to entice others to do their bidding. They may pretend to serve Jesus, but really they don’t. These people will run other people over and say things like, “You better get on board with what I am doing or get run over!” They brag about how many people they have run over to achieve their goals and dreams. 

Jezebel Needs Ahab

Jezebel must have an Ahab to be happy and successful. You see Ahab was a man who gave control over to his wife. He let her do whatever she wanted. He may have even been afraid of her himself. After all, he saw how she reacted to people like Elijah and the other prophets of God. He chose to bow down to Jezebel instead of bowing down to the one true God. 

Ahab was a man who seemed to be easily swayed by anyone who could do something he considered amazing. When Jezebel showed her power (I am sure she did witchcraft to show how powerful and awesome she was), Ahab was quick to follow her and give her the power. 

Ahab Was Amazed

However, when Elijah prayed and had fire come down from Heaven and burn up the offering drenched in water, he was amazed about that. He stood by while Elijah killed all the false prophets. Then he ran home to tell his wife. ‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭19‬:‭1‬ ‭(ESV‬‬) tells us, “Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword.” I can imagine Ahab was pumped up with excitement about what he just saw Elijah do. He likely told Jezebel all that happened in hopes she would find it awesome too and come to his side. However, things didn’t work out like Ahab thought it would. The Bible tells us that Jezebel got angry at Elijah and vowed to kill him that very day. 

What did Ahab do? It seems he just sat back and allowed Jezebel to take back control. He certainly didn’t defend Elijah or stand up to her and let her know she was serving the wrong side. 

You see, without Ahab stepping back and allowing Jezebel to rule over him, his country, and even his religion, she would have been powerless. 

So It Goes Today

The same principle goes today as it did in the time of Jezebel and Ahab. The narcissistic spirit (Jezebel) needs a willing and submissive spirit (Ahab). If you have been the victim of a narcissist, you must spend some time in prayer and ask the Lord for clarity of why you willingly comply with the narcissist. Seek Jesus for healing in those wounded parts of your life. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with power and courage to stand up for truth. Above all, seek the Father for clarity of who he created you to be. When you get these answers, stand firm. We will learn next week how to defeat this spirit. I hope you will join me!

Part 1 — Part 2