If you have given your life to Jesus, you have become his bride. We, the church, are the bride of Christ. In the hours before Jesus was betrayed and eventually sentenced to death, we see him saying and doing things that were customary in that culture to a man proposing marriage to a woman.
Jesus says, “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” John 14:2-3 (ESV) This is what a groom would say to his future bride after the formal proposal. Let’s take a look at the steps to marriage according to an ancient, traditional, Jewish wedding.
The Selection Of The Bride
The first step to any marriage is the selection of who to marry. In Bible times the father of the groom would select a bride for his son. The son did have the ability to say no to his father’s selection. However, the son respected his father’s choice and took the opinion of his father seriously. Of course the woman also had the ability to say no as well.
God The Father Chose You As The Bride
We see that God the Father has chosen you as the bride for his son. When Jesus is in the garden praying, moments before he is arrested, he prays for you. “Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.”John 17:24 (ESV) Jesus prays that everyone whom the Father has given to him will be with Jesus. That’s you. That’s me. I find it so amazing that Jesus was praying for me right before he was arrested. He was more concerned with protecting his bride, than he was in protecting himself. That’s what true love looks like!
Who Did God The Father Choose
This brings us to the question: Who did God the Father choose to become the Bride of Christ? I believe he chose everyone. We see this in 1 Timothy 2:3-4 (ESV), “This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” It is God’s desire that ALL people are saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. It doesn’t say “some”; It says “all”.
One of the most well known verses is John 3:16 (ESV), “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” Again, the verse says God loved the world, not God loved those whom he chose. It is God’s will that everyone becomes the bride of Christ. However, just as the bride in ancient times had a choice to say no, so does everyone who has ever lived or who will live have a choice to say no to the proposal of Jesus. It’s your choice. Nobody forced you to say yes to Jesus.
The Marriage Contract
The next step in an ancient Jewish marriage was to make a contract. The bride and groom would share a cup of wine to seal the deal. This would make it legal and binding. Although the marriage ceremony was still to come, as far as the law was concerned these two were married. If they wanted to back out they would have to go through divorce proceedings.
An example of this is when Joseph found out Mary was pregnant. It says in Matthew 1:18-19 (ESV), “Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.”
Joseph and Mary had not yet had the wedding ceremony. They were in the phase of being engaged and preparing for the upcoming wedding. Obviously, Joseph didn’t want to go forward with the ceremony if Mary had cheated on him. God sent Joseph a dream explaining what was really going on and in Matthew 1:24-25 (ESV) we find out, “When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.” Joseph and Mary went ahead with the ceremony but didn’t consummate the marriage until after Jesus was born.
Jesus Seals His Commitment To His Bride
When did Jesus seal the contract with his bride? The night of his arrest. He instituted a new covenant or contract with his disciples and later the church body. We read in Matthew 26:26-29 (ESV), “Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.”
And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.” Each time we take communion we are re-committing ourselves to this new covenant or contract to be Jesus’ bride. How awesome is that?!
The Payment
Women were valued as a great asset to families. They believed the bride’s family was losing someone of great value and thus needed to be compensated. The groom’s family would offer a dowry, called a Mohar in Hebrew, based on their own wealth. This was a reflection of the family’s integrity and honor. The price must be paid in full before the wedding could move forward.
What Is Your Mohar?
Since we are the bride of Christ what was it that Jesus’ father gave as a dowry for us? The blood of Jesus. This is the most expensive and most powerful thing ever. Without it we can’t be his bride, we can have our sins forgiven, death could not have been conquered.
“For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which lose their value. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. God chose him as your ransom long before the world began, but now in these last days he has been revealed for your sake.” 1 Peter 1:18-20 (NLT)
Groom Goes Home To Build A House
Next, the groom would return home with his father and prepare a place for him and his future bride to live. He was expected to give his bride an upgrade from where she currently lived. He would tell her that he was leaving to prepare a place for her and he will return to receive her unto himself so she can be where he is.
Jesus Is Preparing Your Future Home
We see Jesus say the same thing to his disciples in John 14:2-3 (ESV), “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” Jesus is working to build a home for his bride, you.
The Bride Prepares Herself
While the groom was preparing a place for them to live, the Bride would take time to prepare herself for the coming of her groom. I’m not sure what all she would do. Maybe she would do things that modern day brides do: get a dress, learn the skills she will need to be a wife, ect.
We Must Prepare Ourselves
As the bride of Christ, we are in the waiting period. We are patiently waiting for our groom to come back and get us. As we wait we need to be preparing ourselves for his return. How do we do that?
2 Timothy 2:21-26 (ESV) tells us, “Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”
What We Must Do
We need to set ourselves apart as holy, flee youthful passions, pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace. We stay away from foolish controversies, and refrain from quarreling with others. The bride of Christ must be teachable, kind to everyone, gentle, and patiently endure evil.
Furthermore, we have been created for good works that God prepared for us to do. “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10 (ESV) Each of us has a different way to do those good works, and it is our responsibility to find out what they are and do them. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what it is he created for you to do.
Who Decides When The Groom Is Ready
The father of the groom decides when everything is ready for the wedding. He would have his servants start getting things set up for the wedding ceremony, shofars were blown, and word was sent out that the wedding was about to happen. The groom would send out a messenger to proclaim the coming groom. Shouts of the impending wedding would be heard all through the streets. It would be an exciting time and everyone within earshot would know what was about to happen.
The Coming Of Our Groom
So Jesus is preparing a place for his bride. He will work until his father says, “Ok Son, go get your bride.” It’s totally bewildering to me that only God the Father knows when the time will come for Jesus to return. “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.” Matthew 24:36 (ESV)
Whenever that time comes, it will be a huge celebration. Just like in Bible times, God the Father will send out a messenger to cry out, trumpets will blast, and Jesus will come get his bride.
“For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.” 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 (ESV)
Leaving The Old..Putting On The New
After the bride arrived at her future in-laws’ home she would go through a
ceremonial cleansing called the Mikvah. She does this before the wedding ceremony. The baptism signifies leaving the old and becoming new. She has shed her old identity of single and a daughter to her new identity of married and a wife.
The Christian Mikvah
I think we as believers go through two different Mikvahs. One is physical and one is spiritual.
The physical Mikvah occurs after we have accepted Jesus as our savior and we are baptized. We are physically immersed in the water proclaiming we belong to Jesus and no one else. It symbolizes leaving our old, sinful life and walking into our new, righteous life. “We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” Romans 6:4 (ESV)
Furthermore, we are told in 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV), “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” We take off our old identity of sinner and put on our new identity of saint.
Our spiritual Mikvah will take place when we are taken at the rapture.
“I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed.” 1 Corinthians 15:50-52 (ESV)
We will be changed and given a new, heavenly body that will be imperishable. Our physical bodies will be changed and made brand new. I don’t know about you, but I look forward to that new body!
The Huppah And Ceremony
After a short ceremony and the bride and groom drink the second cup of wine together, the bride and groom would retire to the wedding chamber called a huppah and consummate the marriage. A friend of the groom would stand outside the door and wait for the groom to declare the act is complete. (I am so glad this didn’t happen at my wedding. I would be mortified!) The friend would go relay the good news to the rest of the guests and a week long celebration would ensue. The bride and groom would be alone in the huppah for 7 days.
At the end of the 7 days, the bride and groom would reappear to the wedding guests and a 7 day marriage supper would ensue. Marriage was a big deal and they believed in celebrating this new union for a long time.
Marriage Supper For The Christian
After we are raptured, we will celebrate with our groom with what is called The Marriage Supper of the Lamb. We see this in Revelation 19:7-8 (ESV), “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.” This is going to be a glorious time for the bride of Christ. This is where Jesus will drink that second cup of wine to finalize his marriage to the church. I for one, can’t wait for this day!
I always find it so interesting that God uses the physical to explain the spiritual. He did this with the tabernacle in Exodus. Again, we see this principle in the feasts and celebrations God instituted in the Old Testament. The Passover is a foreshadowing of the day Jesus died on the cross. God even used marriage and communion to show us the spiritual truth of what it means to become the bride of Christ. I encourage you to think of this next time you are at church and take communion. Remember what Jesus was really saying and doing. He was asking for your hand in marriage. When you accept the cup of juice, you are saying yes to his proposal.
Resources:
ANCIENT JEWISH WEDDING CUSTOMS & JESUS CHRIST, HIS BRIDE, THE CHURCH
The Ancient Jewish Wedding by Jamie Lash …and the Return of Messiah for His Bride
It is so wonderful to know we are never single again when our salvation means our marriage to the Lord our Maker. Our Maker is our husband.