As many of you may know, we are a homeschooling family. Being a homeschool mom is something I NEVER wanted to do. In fact, when I had babies and toddlers, I thought people who homeschool their kids were crazy. I would always say, “I don’t know why you would ever want to homeschool. I can’t wait until my kids are in school and I can have some time for myself!” Looking back I can see how both selfish and critical those words were. Thankfully the one good friend I had at the time who did homeschool her kids likely saw that I was a young, tired mom who truly just needed a break from time to time. She was always kind and gracious when I allowed my mouth to say such awful things. 

The Journey Begins

As my oldest daughter started to approach the age of 5, and I started thinking about where I should put her for kindergarten, I started to realize my thinking about homeschooling might be wrong. It was around this time when the show 19 Kids and Counting was on TLC. Their youngest daughter, Josie, was born around then. I knew this baby was born extremely early and was in the NICU. I started wondering how on earth this family would be able to function with one baby in the hospital, and so many other kids that needed to be cared for. So, I started watching this show. 

As I watched the family dynamics that were portrayed on the show, I started thinking, “I really want my kids to grow up to be like that.” I loved how the kids all seemed to really love and respect both their parents and each other. (Obviously there has been a ton of truth that has come out about this family in recent years. This does not negate the fact that God used them to teach me some valuable lessons.) While watching this show, God started planting the seed of homeschooling my children deep within me. 

Do you remember that friend who I told you homeschooled her kids? Brett and I ended up becoming super close to their family. We are still good friends over 16 years later! Brett and I just seemed to gel with their family. We were all so much alike, even though we were just beginning our family and they were farther along. Sadly, this family ended up moving across the country. We were really sad to see them go, but we knew God was calling them to move. 

There Was A Difference

At the same time, the sister of our friend and her family were moving to our town. We had an instant connection with this sister because we loved our friends so very much. The sister did not homeschool her children. As we started spending time with the sister and her family, I started noticing huge differences between the family dynamics. It’s not that one family dynamic was better than the other.

Rather, I found myself thinking about which dynamic I wanted for my family. My kids were still very small at this point. Brittany was about 2, Logan was about 1, and Ashlynn hadn’t been born yet. However, spending time with both sisters and their families made me start to really think about why the family dynamics were so drastically different. I was definitely drawn to the homeschool family dynamic because their family seemed close, and the kids seemed to respect their parents and each other. (Side note: These kids are now all grown up and they are still respectful to both their parents and each other.)

The Goal

As the school years started approaching, God started speaking to me. Through my friend and a TV show, he showed me what HE wanted for my family. ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6:1-3‬ (‭ESV)‬‬ tells us, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.'” 

I wanted my kids to grow up and respect Brett and I. God showed me he wanted my family to be close to each other and love spending time together. It was around this same time God laid it on my heart to start praying that he would mold each of us into the people he created us to be and mold us into the family he saw. 

Over the years I have seen God answering that prayer. I can honestly say we all as individuals and as a family walk more in our calling as our true selves than we did a decade ago. 

During this time God started showing me a big piece of the puzzle for becoming the family he created us to be. I felt like he was leading me to homeschool my kids. Slowly but surely my thinking about homeschooling started to change. I started noticing all the positives I saw in my friend and her family. I also started seeing the negatives of others who chose to put their kids in the public schools.

As I was thinking about what I wanted my family to look like, the homeschool family won my favor. It’s not that my friends who had their kids in school had bad kids or a bad family dynamic. It was more that I could see the type of family I always wanted aligned more with my homeschool friends than my public school friends. Besides, I loved having my kids at home and being a stay-at-home mom and wife. I didn’t really want them to leave and be gone for 6+ hours a day. 

We Are Nearing The End

Even though they are all in high school and middle school now, I still love having them around. Even now I don’t know what I would do if they were all away at school all day long. I love being there to see them learn something new and then share it with me or their dad at night around the dinner table. I love that I get to learn so much with them. In fact, during the first several years it was me who would tell Brett all I learned, with the kids chiming in to add what they learned. 

So now we only have a few short years left of lower education. Soon, very soon, we will be going on college tours with Brittany and then Logan. They will be figuring out what they want to do as adults. Perhaps they go to college. Perhaps they don’t. As of now both Brittany and Logan want to go to college. Brittany wants to be an interpreter for American Sign Language. Logan says he wants to be an engineer of some sort, though he doesn’t know what path of engineering he wants to do just yet. Although Ashlynn is only in 6th grade, she has high aspirations as well. She keeps saying she wants to own her own business. What sort of business you ask? She doesn’t know. She simply knows she wants to be an entrepreneur when she grows up.  

Would I do it all the same? Absolutely! Yes, I would absolutely homeschool my kids again. Of course I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t work for our family. Just because one friend loves a particular program doesn’t mean it will be a great fit for our family. Over the years I did find the curriculum that works best for each of my kids. 

Something I Learned Early On

The best part about homeschooling is the fact that I get to disciple my kids all day everyday. When we first started homeschooling, Brett and I went to a homeschool convention. One of the speakers said something that has stuck with me for all these years. She said, “Character must come before curriculum.” In other words, if my kid is having a bad attitude, I need to put away the school work and help them work on their character. 

As I pondered what she said, it occurred to me how spot on that statement is. After all, what good is it if my kid knows everything there is to know about any given subject, but doesn’t have the godly character behind it? Nobody wants to work with someone who has a bad attitude all the time. One thing I always say is, “I don’t care if my kids know all they need to know when they are finished with school. They can go learn whatever holes they may have anytime. If they know how to have their own relationship with Jesus, and they leave my house with a vibrant and active relationship with Jesus, I will consider that a job well done.” 

Relationship With Jesus Is Most Important

Again, what good is it if my kid knows tons of facts and can do high level math if they don’t know how to have a relationship with the God who created all those things? I would much rather my kids know how to have their own relationship with God than to know things the world sees as valuable. After all, they can always learn that higher level of math, or those facts they are missing. The world can teach them those things later. The one thing the world will never teach them is how to have their own relationship with Jesus, how to make Jesus the center of their life, and how to hear his voice and obey. Those are things I can help to foster in them. 

I do realize it is ultimately up to them to decide to follow Jesus or not. However, I’ve never met a person who has had multiple interactions with Jesus who later says no to following him. I know I will have to trust my kids to make the right choice to follow Jesus, and I have to trust that Jesus will always lead them into all truth.

There will come a time when I must completely let them go make their own mistakes and trust them and trust God to take care of them. I also realize this mindset started when they were very small. I have always taught them they must choose between right and wrong. It’s hard sometimes to allow the kids to make bad decisions, but how else will they learn? I can’t force them to always choose the right thing. I can be there for them when they must suffer the consequences of those bad choices. Likewise, I can also be there to rejoice with them when they choose the right thing and get good consequences. 

I Get It

Lastly, I do realize that homeschooling is not for every family. There are single moms or dads out there who cannot dedicate the time it requires to homeschool. I will say if you choose to put your kids in a school, be very careful. The world has a religion too, and they aren’t afraid to push their religion on the kids who attend public schools. Make sure you know what is being taught at your children’s schools. Be involved.

Don’t just assume that because you live in a conservative state or city that your kids aren’t being taught things like CRT, transgender ideology, and the like. You must be diligent to protect your kids from being brainwashed into believing things the Bible clearly says are wrong, are actually right. Above all, pray for your kids, their teachers, and their schools. Perhaps, God put it on your heart to enroll your kids in the public schools so you can be used to change those schools from places that profane the values of God into places that glorify God.